Misunderstood.

To say that this season of my life has been dark and overwhelming

is an understatement.

The loss of my marriage was just the tip of the iceburg

of what was to be lost.

I say this humbly, 

aware that I have the greatest of gifts, my sweet daughter,

my health, my remaining friends and family.

But, I assure you that this has been a time of great loss.

Like several deaths.

All at once.

This morning in church, I was challenged by the words of Paul

as he spoke to the Phillipians.

To live is Christ and to die is gain, he says.

The pastor then challenged us to think about how we are living in

and through our circumstances, 

and whether or not we were choosing to advance the kingdom 

in our suffering.

To be certain, I am not in chains as I type this message.

But, I have discovered that great suffering comes from being misunderstood.

From twisting of words and bending of truth. 

I have never struggled like this with being known or understood for who I was.

Until now.

But it is NOW that I fix my eyes upon Jesus. 

What an example.

He was so very misunderstood.

He was the son of God who descended to live among men.

People mocked him.  Called him a fake.  Said he was of the devil, even.

In His perfection, He was doubted.

He was betrayed.

SO VERY FAR from perfection, 

I am humbled by His sacrifice on my behalf.

Having faith in my heavenly Father and His ability to make good of all,

I look forward to the day of reckoning. 

And pray for the courage to be a blessing in the midst of persecution.

To be soft and vulnerable in the face of trials.

And to love those who don't love me.