What I Hoped For.

I love blogs. Especially the ones written by creative mommies who dote on their husbands and children. You know, the ones who do great projects and who are invested in their kid's lives and who take amazing pictures and who come up with great ideas and who are conscious of what they feed their families and how they spend their money and how they love the Lord tangibly every day? The kind of mom that we all want to be (even if we don't even have any munchkins of our own yet...) It's sort of like the litmus test for how successful we are at life, right?

If I had my dream life, it would probably look a little something like the Pioneer Woman. If you have been hiding under a rock and don't know the PDub, then please: Stop what you are doing and visit here. I would be as funny as she is too. (Stick with me ...it's a dream.) I can imagine it now. Life on the homestead. Delighting in my multiple kiddies. Ridiculously attracted to my hero cowboy of a husband. Decorating my awesome house. Cooking in my amazing kitchen.

Or if I had my second choice, it would be alot like this. Ashley is crazy good at all things domestic and is the kind of mom who chooses her hubby and 4 kids over all else. Anyone who decorates their walls with chicken wire effortlessly and is able to make plywood floors look beautiful is an artsy superwoman in my book.

For a long time, when I began my original blog, I tried to write as if this was the kind of life that I was leading. My marriage was hard, but I wanted so badly to have a family and to fit in to that category of picture perfect life that I pushed myself to adhere to this standard even though I knew that something was very wrong. I am the product of divorce and so I was committed above all else to fit in to that mold. Dammit.

Now here's the hard part:

What I hoped for is not my reality.

I am currently separated from my husband. Raising my daughter by myself. And uncertain of what my future holds. And as I read through my blog feed and visit the sites that inspire me, there is a sting as I attempt to embrace my circumstances. My life does not look at all like I dreamed it would. As a matter of fact, it's kind of like my worst nightmare.

Here's where there is hope:

It doesn't have to be my worst nightmare.

Minus the loving and supportive husband at my side, I am still capable of being just who God made me to be. Someone who can find joy in the midst of very sorrowful circumstances. Someone who can be crafty and follow her dreams and do a bang up job of raising my daughter to be a God-fearing ball of sweetness.

You see, the Lord made me with more than my fair share of spunk. He has given me the capacity to have optimism when most would have cashed in their chips. Maybe I will start a revolution: maybe I could be someone who inspires those of you out there that aren't leading the life that you had always wanted in to embracing the life that you have and flourishing anyways. And hopefully, those of you blessed with healthy marriages and great lives will come along for the ride too. I don't discriminate. :) I love to watch healthy relationships in action. It helps me stay grounded in that GOOD desire that I have for connectedness and family.

So with no further adieu, I humbly invite you to join me as I begin this new chapter in my life. My hope for this blog is to follow my whims and lived out of that place in me that is very easily inspired. Hence, the blog title. I assure you, you never know what you will find me doing. But whatever it is that I get myself in to, I want this to be the central location for sharing my life with the world.

And who knows, maybe you will take a little inspiration along with you.

Shalom blogland.